Nothing Better

There is something outrageous happening all around us and sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who can see it. Come on, people! Open your eyes to what the world has come to!

Everything is cyclical. These days all the cool kids are wearing their grandpa's clothes and either paying way too much for it at H&M or they are paying next to nothing for it at a local thrift store. If this fashion had been the style ten years ago I would have been the coolest kid at Zach White Elementary, but instead I was just the girl that pretty much only owned overalls. Overalls, all day, e'rrday. I actually found myself missing the purple, flower, corduroy overall shorts I owned in third grade. As soon as I recognized that thought I rebuked myself in the name of skinny jeans, Toms shoes and fake glasses.

But clothing isn't even what I'm trying to get at here. What I really want to talk about is how I bought a record player for my birthday last year, then found out that my parents got rid of their vinyl collection when I was seven. They didn't ask for my input, they didn't inform me of their plans to leave them behind in the house they sold, they didn't even ask if maybe, just maybe, seventeen years down the road I might want all their Fleetwood Mac, Rolling Stones and Barba Streisand records. Thanks guys. But that's all in the past. All is forgiven and I've moved on. I have my own collection. Sure, it's small; sure, it doesn't have too many solid pieces in it; and sure, it probably has one or more of Justin Timberlake's masterpieces included, but it only has room to grow. It only has room for improvement...

And maybe now you're thinking, "Okay, so this is a blog about record collections." To which I would say, "Think again, Mr. Knowitall. I don't blog with THAT much structure! This isn't Mrs. Greenly's English class! This is my personal blog and I do what I want."

However, at least the point of this blog is music.

And it's the sexiest of all the music. Oh, did I say "sexy?" Sorry, I meant, "saxy."

Remember the 80's when you couldn't help but start your own private dance party whenever you heard Hall and Oates singing "Maneater?" Maybe it was George Michael that made you get your party pants on. But it's likely that you were never able to resist embarrassing yourself in front of all your friends as soon as you heard, "Who Can It Be Now" by Men at Work. If you aren't relating to anything I've said thus far, you've failed as a person and should go put on a denim vest and look up youtube videos of these songs.

All this to say, the saxophone is making a comeback. Actually, I guess I'm two years behind, because I initially started this post back in 2011, but recently I heard "Thrift Shop" by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis and thought, "Yeah, Elisha, go back and finish that blog! Who cares if you're two years late?! If people don't like what you wrote, give it another 20 years and it will be the coolest thing since pre-sliced lunch meat items."

If you never thought you'd meet someone with a music playlist dedicated strictly to songs with saxophones and saxophone solos in it, you never thought you'd meet me. It's not perfect by any means, but it's something. I pretty much only enjoy having said playlist because I like being able to brag on how awesome it is to have a playlist established to present the saxophone in the saxiest light possible. You can check it out on my Spotify if you're into listening to things that are the worst ever... or best ever. (Disclaimer: it's a saxophone playlist... so you know...) Also, enjoy these images.

The most extreme sports always include a little hint of saxophone.

I didn't like him. But he didn't need affirmation from people. All he needed was to go tan his super white legs... and never take a picture like that again.

 Daily mantra: Saxophone. All day, e'rrday.

This was me in middle school. They called me Elisha, the saxophone temptress forever and ever amen.

Also, enjoy Brian.

On Insecurities

A few weeks back I studied through 2 Corinthians with a friend. Upon reviewing the book I brought up how much I love 2 Corinthians 3:17, where in talking about how the Spirit tears down the veil of sin that covers our hearts, it says, "Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." I was asked if there was anything in my life that I was held in bondage to that I couldn't quite shake free from. Honestly, I felt like I had to muster something up. My answer was a generalization of a deeper issue that I was blinded to. In the weeks since, my eyes have been opened to something I've both sought to ignore and something which I never really thought of as sin. Suddenly the idea of freedom from bondage made sense to me as some sort of far off, too good to be true kind of way. The recognition of the shackles that held me down made me realize that I really wasn't living as if I had been freed from them.

I was at a conference for creative church media professionals this last week. One of the breakout speakers talked about how we don't see things the way they are, but we see them the way we are (or aren't). The take away is that I will look at the things that come out of my life, either work related, relationally, or spiritually and I won't see them for what they actually are because I'm blinded by how I see myself (or don't see myself). Basically, anything that comes out of my life that doesn't meet my standards is indicative of a deeper issue. It's indicative that I have an issue in my heart with how I see myself. That night nothing seemed to make more sense. Because I see myself as imperfect and flawed, I see everything that comes out of me as imperfect and flawed. How could I never realize my insecurities in what I produced were a result of how I viewed myself?

Insecurity is a pride issue. It is the chain that I've allowed to wrap itself around my arms, around my feet, and around my neck. How could I ever live with chains tightening more and more around me, slowing cutting off my life and still never realize that I was in bondage? I guess they had been there for so long I stopped realizing they weren't meant to be there. I guess I'd accepted them as a part of who I was; Elisha, the girl born with rusted chains wrapped around her body. Insecurity, in my eyes, was not an issue of me seeking identity in things that were never meant to define me, but it was an issue that I could do nothing about. It was just who I was, a faulty and imperfect me, with no hope to overcome that otherwise. But that's the great deception of insecurity. Insecurity parades around like a hurt victim with no remedy, but in reality it's self-deceived Pride masquerading around. It's so typical of us to always be thinking of ourselves, and thats the great irony of insecurity. We don't realize that insecurity is an issue of self-centeredness. Our natural inclination is to think only of ourselves. Pride is blinding, and in my pride I thought I was right about myself, I thought my insecurities were truths of me and I never considered that they could be my bondage.

It's so easy to want to be defined by our own standards, whether it be looks, or status, or in my case the things that I produce out of my life, but there is only one standard by which we should find our identity and that is what Christ has called us to. By claiming the things that were never meant to define me, I always came up short. By striving to find perfection in that which I churned out of my life I always came up lacking. There is nothing perfect that we can produce apart from Christ. There is nothing we can make on our own that can bring our identity to perfection. And that's where I kept grasping at the wind. Over and over, nothing I did was perfect, nothing met my standards, everything could be better, everything should have been better. My identity, my view of myself, was constantly imperfect, constantly lacking, constantly groping at the air. Obviously that was not where it should have been.

So let's get right down to the solution. I couldn't figure it out. I was stumped. Typically in those situations, I ask myself, "If someone came up to you and told you they were struggling with this issue, how would you advise them?" I had nothing. I was incapable of advising anyone because I couldn't do it myself. Once I realized my insecurities were issues of self-centeredness I knew the only solution was to get my mind off of myself. Here are the things that have encouraged me this week:

"We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ" - 2 Corinthians 10:5

Sometimes the only thing I can do is, by faith, cast out all doubt by holding it against scripture. It’s a hard place. It’s the right place. I have to take my thoughts and evaluate them. Are they true of what my identity is in Christ according to what the Bible says? If not, I execute them.

"For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin"- Romans 6:7

This thought was not my own, but sent to me via text message by a friend. She encouraged me not to give into the lies of my insufficiencies, not to let sin have that power over me, but to have power over sin through being set free by Christ.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you." -Philippians 4:8-9

Throughout the week I've learned that I have to have my mind set in the right place if I want to have victory over my insecurities. I need to set my mind on the right things, on these things, and I need to practice them. Mind off of me. Mind on Christ.

Life is found in Christ. Set your mind on Christ, find your identity in Christ, have hope, live in freedom.

On Recent Learnings

The girls in my student group often beckon me to write a book, to which I always respond with apathy. But today I will post a few things I've written in recent weeks that have a common thread.

The common thread is a trending issue in my heart. I often feel like I know the answer to my problems. I often feel that I know how to treat my ailments. I know the solutions and I know how to get them fixed. I know when I'm not satisfied it's not because I lack in worldly means, but it's because I lack in Christ. It is my stubbornness and pride and laziness that holds me back. Though I know Christ is the only solution to any issue, it is my pride that refuses to seek him out. But to seek him out and find that comfort for the soul, to taste of his medicine is far greater than anything I could ever imagine. The taste of his grace softens my stubborn heart and mends my broken spirit. Constantly on my mind are the words, "tune my heart to sing Thy grace."

May 28, 2012,

"Let the righteous one rejoice in the Lord and take refuge in him!

Let the upright in heart exult!"

Psalm 64:10

Satisfaction is found in God. Satisfaction is found in God and in God alone. No matter how deeply you know satisfaction is found in Jesus, you must actually find Him to be satisfied. Even if I deeply desire affection, attention or recognition, no matter how deeply I long for nearness to others, or progress in my own growth, nothing will satisfy those longings for attention, for affection, for recognition, for nearness or for progress except for the attention for, affection for, recognition of, nearness to and progress toward Jesus. Don't just know it. Do it.

May 31, 2012,

"May all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you!

May those who love your salvation say evermore, 'God is great!'"

Psalm 70:4

It is my heart for all people who seek God to rejoice and be glad in him. Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, whether you like it or not, be content with wherever you are.

Stop seeking a place or a position or a people to find contentment and satisfaction. I tell you, seek the Lord, rejoice, and be glad. I tell you, only he satisfies.

If you seek God you will rejoice where he has you, for when you are found in his presence you are found in good company with fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore.

June 14, 2012,

"Yes the Lord will give what is good,

and our land will yield its increase.

Righteousness will go before him

and make his footsteps a way."

Psalm 85:12-13

All day I keep trying to read. I've tried to read Bonhoeffer. I've tried to read Tozer. I've tried to read Spurgeon. All day I've avoided reading what I needed to read most. How lost indeed I am when I seek to find my joy in reading about Christ by mere men when I can read about Christ by his own word. How lost indeed I am. How thirsty indeed I am. I can read books by all the great theologians, but until I read from the book that is life I am starved.

June 15, 2012,

"How great are your works, O Lord!..."

Psalm 92:5

How can I read this and simply agree with it without taking the time to recount how great his works are? They are great. They are faithful. They are gracious. They are magnificent. They are miraculous.

For you have taken me, a child of iniquity, a creator of destruction, a harborer of death, and you have transformed me, remolded me, recreated my heart; you have made me a recipient of grace, a possessor of righteousness, an heir of the Kingdom.

So yes, he does great works and I am of them. I am just one of them. I am such a small example of the grandeur of his works. I am an incomplete example of his wondrous works, but he who started a good work in me is faithful to bring it to completion. His grace is the fullest example of his goodness. His grace is why I get completion.

Conviction in my heart:

"The man who has God for his treasure has all things in One. Many ordinary treasures may be denied him, or if he is allowed to have them, the enjoyment of them will be so tempered that they will never be necessary to his happiness. Or if he must see them go, one after one, he will scarcely feel a sense of loss, for having the Source of all things he has in One all satisfaction, all pleasure, all delight. Whatever he may lose he has actually lost nothing, for he now has it all in One, and he has it purely, legitimately and forever." 

-A.W. Tozer

On Promises

There's only one thing you ever need to know. In life, in death, only one thing matters. Jesus. This isn't a matter of opinion, it's not just a point of view. This is fact. The only thing you ever need to know is Jesus. If you don't have Him, you will have nothing at all.

As I was going through part of Genesis this week I found myself completely astounded by God's promises. I'll start with this:

"The LORD visited Sarah as he had said, and the LORD did to Sarah as he had promised."

-Genesis 21:1

Sarah's condition was completely impossible to the power of men. She was baren and in no way capable of giving Abraham a child that would one day make him the father to many nations. Seriously... impossible. But our God isn't restricted in power like men. Our God is a God whose abilities are greater than our incapabilities. I love how plainly and beautifully faithful the Lord is. It is as simple as saying, "and the LORD did to Sarah as he had promised" yet it was as complex as having a completely baren woman bear a child that would one day become many nations. Our God is not a God of broken promises nor is he a God who promises more than he can do. Our God is a God who is faithful to fulfill.

So I started making a list of the promises I find in Jesus. I made the list so I could remember these things are fulfilled and in the fulfillment of these promises, what more could I need? Here is a small portion of my list. Make your own. Include Provider, Sustainer, Counselor, etc.

Jesus is Savior. What more could I need?

Jesus loves me. What more could I need?

Jesus is my shepherd. What more could I need?

Jesus has brought me life and life abundantly. What more could I need?

So good are the promises of the Lord. But wait, there's more. Jump forward a chapter.

"He said, 'Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you.'"

- Genesis 22:2

Isaac wasn't just a son that Abraham loved, but Isaac was his only son, the son whom all of the promises of God's covenant hinged on. If Abraham was to father many nations, Isaac was going to be the vessel through which that was fulfilled. Dietrich Bonhoeffer put it best when he said, "Abraham must learn that the promise does not depend on Isaac, but on God alone." So God's covenant didn't hinge on Abraham's only son, it hinged on God.

We too must learn to rely on God and his faithfulness instead of putting our hope and faith in the things that God has promised. It is only by direct hope and faith in Jesus that we can truly have joy in His promises. He promises life and life abundantly, so put your faith and hope in Him, rely on Him to fulfill that promise and so he shall. To put your hope and faith in having life and having it abundantly will disappoint you because life isn't going to fulfill you. Having life abundantly isn't going to fulfill you. Jesus is going to fulfill you and if you can be fulfilled by Him, THEN you will have life and have it abundantly. You can't cut Jesus out and expect to partake in the joy of those promises. The promises are fulfilled through Jesus and through Him alone.

Jesus is our salvation. It's only by him that we can embrace His promises.

When thinking on the promises made to you by God, remember that they only rely on God and not your circumstance or situation. Remember that it's only in Jesus that you receive those promises.

You must think about how great and awesome Jesus is and promises flow from that. You look straight at Jesus and so have the promises.

You set your eyes on Jesus and so partake in promises.

NOT

You set your eyes on the promises and also Jesus.

Jesus is priority. He is first. He is only. The end.

On The Practice of Prayer

Sure, we can say, "Praying is easy; it's just talking to God." And yes, I'd agree with that, pray without ceasing, fire off text message prayers to God throughout the day. I also think that there is prayer that goes beyond that. Let me impart my thoughts. I'll start with what Daniel is known for... the small encounter with the lions' den. In Daniel 6 we see that Daniel is distinguished above all the other satraps and presidents of Darius' kingdom and also that the king had planned to set him over the whole kingdom. Jealously arises in the hearts of the satraps and presidents so they aim to find a ground of complaint against Daniel but can find none due to his faithfulness. Note: The faithful shall be found blameless. And so it was that they would have the king sign an ordinance that would put Daniel in the lions' den on account of worshiping God.

Here's where it gets really good:

"When Daniel knew that the document had been signed, he went to his house where he had windows in his upper chamber open toward Jerusalem. He got down on his knees three times a day and prayed and gave thanks before his God, as he had done previously."

- Daniel 6:10 (esv)

This is why I admire Daniel and this is where I was challenged this week. It wasn't impossible circumstances or improbable odds, it wasn't a helpless situation or even a sure death sentence that brought him to his knees, but it was habit, it was routine, it was an everyday, disciplined, procedure and proclamation of dependance on the Lord God Almighty that brought his face to the floor in prayer. I started to think about how I react in situations of intense anxiety. I started thinking about how I respond in the face of hardship, or how I respond when the odds seem stacked against me, of how I respond when I feel like I'm about to be eaten by a den of lions. I realized I should respond in the same way that I should respond to any situation. I realized that in every situation, in every single circumstance in every moment of rejoicing, in every season of affliction, my response shouldn't so much be a response as it should be a habit, to get down on my knees, pray and give thanks to my God.

I love that being on his knees in prayer was something that Daniel did often and consistently and I was so challenged to make that a part of my habit... and it radically changed the way that I approach the Father in prayer. There's something about realizing that you are speaking to a completely Holy God that changes your perspective when you pray. There is something about recognizing that you are coming before Him who created all things, holds all things together and has your very breath in His hands that alters the words that you choose to utter in his presence. But at the same time there's this realization that the Holy Spirit of the Holy God is in you and when you can understand that you can understand that this Father is not some far off God who is sitting in heaven saying that you have it all wrong and your prayers are worthless and that your pain is not worthy of His ear. You realize in humility that He is a compassionate God who, in you, can feel the things that you are feeling, who knows and is familiar with the circumstances that surround you, who understands the pain or hardship that you're going through unlike anyone else, because he is the one who paid the price for it. That's when you realize that you are petitioning to the Holy God who is the Holy Compassionate.

Oh, to grasp even in the slightest that we should have a "face to the floor", "depart from me, for I am a man of unclean lips", humility in approaching God while at the same time knowing that He who dwells in us intercedes for us and is more familiar with what we're going through than even we are.

All this to say, in your darkest days, let it be said of you that when your knees hit the floor it's not for the first time. Let it be said that it was in all your days that you were on your knees praying.

"Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known." -Jeremiah 33:3 (esv)

On talking smack.

It's funny how I've been seeing more and more often as I've been reading, that it's the things that I skim over that I end up coming back to and gleaning greatly from. This last week as I was reading Proverbs when I came across the following verse. It was the inspiration to this blog. My conviction was the purpose to its posting.

"A fool gives full vent to his spirit,

but a wise man quickly holds it back."

Proverbs 29:11

I'm not typically the kind to give "full vent" to my spirit. For the most part I'm pretty passive aggressive and have a tendency to hold in feelings until I have time to ponder their source. It's especially important to me that I should not bring up any bitterness within me to others because I know at the root of pretty much all of my begrudging is typically pride and selfishness.

With that said, here are my thoughts on this proverb that stemmed from examining myself. I was pretty fired up upon reviewing my notes today.

It's easy to want to vent to others and complain about other people or situations. I think we talk because we think it will make us feel better, which it does, but at the cost of humility, at the cost of our integrity, and at the cost of our character. Complaining and venting is typically our way of declaring how others have wronged us. More than that though, I think it's our way of defending ourselves, our side, and most of all our pride. I think it's our way of showing how we've been hurt, how we're the victim and how the other party is the culprit. The other party is a total killjoy, completely undeserving of holding a good name in the community. In complaining and venting we take the chance to defend our side and more than that we take the chance to defend our RIGHT to feel the way we do. It's our way of justifying to others why we are right and why the offender is in the wrong.

So, what is the solution? We should say nothing if it is to profit nothing. If you want to complain about something, complain of your own inadequacies. Complain of your own sin. Complain that you're undeserving of the grace of God. If you want to defend something, defend the truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Spend your words on the glory of Him who bled on the cross for your sake or spend them on nothing at all. Idle speech embitters. Rash words are like the jabbing of a sword but the tongue of the wise brings healing. We are all sinners. We are all equally unworthy of salvation. Thank God for the grace by which we have been forgiven and in which we can now forgive others.

"Good sense makes one slow to anger,

and it's his glory to overlook an offense."

Proverbs 19:11

My Little Pony on the Move

I read a very funny article today concerning a woman dressed in black who has been hanging My Little Pony toys around Quebec City. I LOLLED and then thought that it was the most clever thing I'd ever heard of. Let's just say if this starts happening around the valley you can totally blame me.

Nothing spreads joy like seeing My Little Pony hang from the telephone line in front of your office window. I imagine my soul would be filled with glittery feelings every time I looked out at such a sight.