Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Frosty No More

How do I start out such a blog as this? How can I begin in such a way that I get my point across, but at the same time show sincerity? Well, I'll give it a shot. This is it. It is frosty no more. This is Frosty no more. I woke up one day and looked out the window. What did I see? Well, because you weren't there, you wouldn't really know. So, I'll just tell you. I saw a giant. He was huge. He was an upstanding gentleman (or so it seemed.) He had his hat, his scarf, and even some mittens. Unfortunately, I'm afraid the Kimport girls were a tad bit too generous in keeping Frosty warm. Anyway, I saw frosty and I was like, "Holy mama, that's huge!" He was probably taller than me (or perhaps I am building him up in order to make his memory last longer.) Actually, he was taller than me. He was taller than a car, he was taller than a bar. He was bigger than a house, but still as silent as a mouse. He was a grand as a piano, yet as humble as pie.  He was truly something not of this world. I left the house thinking, "Now that is one snowman I should blog about." Unfortunately I didnt take a picture and by the time I got home that night, we'll, let's just say Frosty wasn't as upstanding a gentleman as he was when I left.  Anyway, I came home, pretty late at night I might add and well, Frosty was gone. Well, not so much gone as, well, completely destroyed, 100% obliterated, parallel to the ground, kissing the dirt, and ready for his body to be outlined in chalk and circled by crime scene tape.  It was sad. I think I may have cried. I pondered to myself, "Self, how could this happen? It couldn't have been the wind. It couldn't have been too warm. It couldn't have been... WAIT!" and it hit me. Frosty was a day old (or young, you tell me.) How could he pass so quickly? Well, I'll tell you. Ive noticed that in the neighborhood there has been an unusual rise in snowman population.  I got to thinking, you know, these snowmen have been here for a few weeks, they are older, they kind of have seniority in the neighborhood (or hood as it should properly be referred to) I knew it. There was something about the snowman on the corner that just didn't sit right in my stomach. He always just looked so sly, so hooliganesque. Needless to say, Im afraid that him and all his other little snow monster friends got together and went after Frosty, seeing as he was the newbie to the hood and well, was made by, (dare I say it) little girls! Jerks! That is all I have to say about the topic. Poor frosty. I'll keep a piece of you in my heart always. (Not literally of course. Maybe in my stomach for a few hours for well, connetions sake. Just like gloria)

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