Monday, March 9, 2009

On Introspection

Lately I have been struggling to find a way to put my thoughts into writing. I tend to think that I am not a poor writer, but is seems so often that writing is not a sufficient enough outlet for these visceral feelings.  
I have so much going, going, going in my life right now that sometimes I just want a chance to write. For one reason or another I can't seem to get my writing down. I can't express what I feel or what I think. I keep having this desire to put something down, but all that comes out are words like, "emotion" and "passion" and sometimes even random words like "sea" or "sugar plum fairies." I got to thinking, maybe formal writing just isn't my proper vice. I moved on to poems. Very quickly I realized those were failing me as well. I would manage to produce a phrase I was pleased with, then all of the sudden, out of nowhere, I would produce another verse that I liked even more but had absolutely no relation to the previous one. Now I have a couple pages in a notebook that are filled with one liners. 
I should write Haiku's.
But they don't seem like much fun.
Introspection FAIL. 

I digress. As I was saying, formal writing has failed me and poetic writing has as well.
I tend to think that I have a balanced level of skill when it comes to things such as fine and literary art, but I suppose that I will let you be the judge of that. Actually, I take that back, you may only see my writing. However, upon occasion I do post some things I work on that are more visual. What is not balanced out very well is my ability to maintain focus on one thing for a substantial amount of time and my tendencies to get distracted far too easily.  In fact, though I have only written an amount of text that should take no more than, oh say, ten minutes at the most, I have been writing this blog for about twenty five now. Why is that? Why is it that I start something, then half way through open a new window and start something new? In this case, I opened up photoshop and edited a piece of work I have been designing. There was a time when I could writing for hours. I could jot down thoughts, take inventory of ideas, and all in all just look within myself to find something more than the superficial "me." 
I have decided to go back so that I might move forward. I am going to re-learn how to write so that I might be able to understand the things that cannot be translated within. I am going to remember how to complete thoughts without getting distracted. I am going to remember the side of me that once appreciated reading boring things and relished in writing things that lacked little substance.
Now, just so you know, I probably will be boring in some blogs. I will probably post long blogs that are not so amusing. What do you expect from some one who loves reading non-fiction and news articles in her spare time? I will however continue to write things that I find comical. I do, after all, love the little things like satire, irony, and humor. My spontaneous revelations and witty little blogs will not be leaving us. In fact, with God willing, they will become more frequent. Lose not hope, friends. This blog will be redeemed from the poor grammar quality and page structure that it holds on to so dearly!
For now I must go. I have much to do and little time to do it. For now I must go. I have much I desire to accomplish and little time to do so. That is all.

1 comment:

Mom said...

I will buy you a writing magazine subscription to help you cultivate your creative thirsts.