Monday, April 27, 2009

Swine Flu Season: How to avoid the pig disease!

Elba and I were trying to avoid catching the swine flu. We did what we thought was best at the time. I pulled out my lemon- lime Airborne tablets. For some reason we thought it would be more fun (not necessarily more effective, just more fun) to consume them without any fluid (other than our own saliva) to dissolve them in. For me, the first sensation was predictable; salty and tart. However, shortly after that sensation, and boy do I mean shortly after, the second sensation kicked in. Immediate regret. As the pastille quickly dissolved on my tongue my only thought was this, "chew fast, stupid!" Let me let you in on a little secret. These little dietary supplements dissolve a lot quicker when you chew them. That means that my mouth, almost instantly, was filled with some odd sort of fizzy, bitter, tart, gag-inducing gas-like substance. It was peculiar. I thought to myself, "This needs to be washed down with something, and quickly." I was not willing to suffer the consequences of my actions. My only comforting thought was that Elba was also suffering through the same trial. She too had to suffer through this with no water. Then she reached for her water bottle, which I might add was secretly hiding from my view in her backpack. Immediately I was disheartened. She had water. She drank the water, and I was left there to dry. My view of her had changed from a once brave and courageous friend who would suffer through the hard times with me into a weakling who couldn't hack it out like me. (I would have done the same had I been in her shoes) I looked around my area. My coffee had been finished off about ten minutes prior, so that wasn't going to help. I quickly made my way into the building and to the water cooler. All that was on my mind during those moments were, "Don't you throw up and make a fool of yourself here." I didn't but I was closer than I wanted to be. I stomached down the rest of your little immunity booster. I must say though that the worst part of the whole experience was not even those first few minutes, but rather, the fifteen after where I kept burping up a sour lemon lime like gas. On a brighter note, it has been about twenty minutes and we are still swine flu free! THANK YOU AIRBORNE!

Also, I submitted this story to the Airborne website. I hope they get a chuckle out of it at least.

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