Thursday, June 4, 2009

Goat, Mountain Lion, Bears: Funny


I have something important to share with you. It is actually some kind of a story. A few weekends back I drove the long drive all the way down to Missoula to pick Carrie up from the airport. While I was there I was struck with a few emotions. One was excitement, one was disgust, and one was somewhat unexplainable. The exciting part was that Carrie was coming back. The disgusting part was when I saw the Montana made bedroom furniture on display. It pretty much looked like nasty tumors growing on a bed frame. If you have ever played halo, then think of the alien race, the flood. Then there was my other emotion., the one that I can't explain. 

As I sat in the cold airport by the baggage claim, a little something-something caught my eye. This is how you know you live in Montana. This is the scene taking place above the baggage claim. Now, it's not such a bad scene until you start really thinking about it, until you really start looking at each of the characters. 

First you have the goat. He really wasn't doing anything wrong. He was probably just sitting on his rock enjoying the sunshine. Then, before he knew it the mountain lion's razor sharp fangs were clamped into the back of his neck.  He is obviously caught off guard. "Where did this come from?!", he thinks as he draws his last breaths. With fear in his eyes (and a bright white light) he cries his final cry.  See Figure A.
Figure A


Then you have the mountain lion. First, I feel I need to point out that it appears his is extremely anxious to eat. I mean, look at him. He has his arm wrapped tightly around the goats body, and as he goes in for the kill it's almost as if he is about to take the first bite of a double double, animal style when all he has been eating for years is big mac's and whoppers. There is joy in his eyes. Nay! There is delight! All he is thinking about is how the taste of flesh is so pleasing to his taste buds. He doesn't care about whether or not the goat has a family. He only cares about himself. See Figure B.
Figure B


What I find most comical and interesting is that neither the goat nor the mountain lion seem to notice that there is a massive bear only feet away from them. I suppose, in defense of the goat, he probably has other thoughts racing through his head, but the mountain lion, shouldn't he be a little afraid? The mountain lion in just munching on some goat while Yogi, over there in the corner, is just laughing it up. Seriously, look at him. See Figure C. This has got to be the highlight of this bears day. This is like the cage fighting of the animal kingdom. Either way, I suppose Yogi wins. Either A, he gets to scare off the mountain lion and eat the goat, or B, he gets to eat the goat and the mountain lion.

Figure C


And finally there is me. I am not pictured obviously, but I did benefit from this. I win in that, no matter what happens to the goat, the mountain lion, and the bear, in the end, I get a good laugh out of it and I am not eaten by any sort of stuffed animal. I am saddened for the goat, kind of ticked, but understanding of the mountain lion, and pretty much just confused by the bear. It's funny though, so I guess that it's all good.

Moral of the story: Don't forget to check out this scene when you hit up the Missoula Airport.
Thought to process: Wouldn't it be a major bummer if you died, then were stuffed in such a way that you were being eaten by your worst enemy. How humiliating... I mean, really. Major blow to the goat's self esteem.

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