Monday, December 7, 2009

Unusual Occurances

It's always a pleasure to see someone waving at you. Well, okay, I
retract that statement. It is almost always a pleasure to see someone
waving at you. The only exception is when someone is waving but you're
not sure if they are waving at you or if they are waving at someone
behind you so you awkwardly act like you don't see them or you wave
back just to find out they were waving at the person behind you.

(It's kind of similar to the humiliation of almost tripping in front
of a bunch of people. Do you fall for pity or do you recover just to
act like you intentionally did it?)

For the most part it is nice when people wave at you. It gives you a
sense importance as a person. A "hey, they actually know who I am"
kind of feeling.

Today I walked out of the church only to find a haunting sight.

It appears that someone was waving when all of a sudden they turned to
steel and fell into the ground, with the exception of an arm that
happened to stay above ground through the whole incident.

Now, you probably think that I'm being ridiculous, but let's look at
this logically. I don't think it was a pole that grabbed the glove and
put it on as a hat, becase obviously a pole has no arms , not to
mention eyes to even see the glove in the first place. Plus a pole
obviously cannot take on life-like, human characteristics.

Okay, so now that we have rationed out a life-like pole growing arms
and a brain to put the glove on, we can look at other non rational

Perhaps a person put this glove on the supposed pole. Now, that seems
logical right? Sure, but you obviously don't know anything. This is
Montana, people. I don't live in Maui. It's not all sunshine and
butterflies out here. In fact, the suns stays as far away from this
place as possible in the winter. Not to mention butterflies would
surely die in the cold weather. I can see them now, just flying around
when all of a sudden they take a single breath in only to discover
thier lungs are frozen and their pretty little wings have turned to
ice. They fall from their happy little land in the sky only to hit the
hard, frosty-cold pavement. Goodbye, butterfly. All this to say nobody
would be thinking straight to take a perfectly good glove off to top a
pole. Furthermore, no one in their right mind would take the time, in
negative degree weather, to place a glove on a pole. This is all just
nonsense. I mean seriously.

My final look at the opposing (and clearly incorrect) side. Let's
bring the glove life like features. Let's say a fairy glove mother
gave the glove life, but only until the strike of noon. Let's say that
it was always the glove's dream to be alive. Okay, sure glove, can
have life, but why?! Did you just want to climb a pole and sit on top
of it? That's a sad thing to do with you new given life. Did you just
climb atop the pole to greet me as I left the building? Did you just
want me to high five you as I walked out? Did you just want a simple
hello? Were you only looking for some kind of human appreciation?

Wow, that seems pretty logical. I feel really bad. I didn't say hello
to the glove. I didn't thank it for waving at me. I didn't high five
it as I walked away from it. I did nothing. I just rejected the sad
little blue glove. I took it's hopes and dreams and said, "Hey glove,
you're ridiculous. You don't deserve recognition. You don't deserve
anything but to serve me until I ware holes in you and toss you into
the garbage with the rest of my under-appreciated winter garments.

I would like to retract my initial theory and end in an apology.

Dear under-appreciated, blue glove,
I'd first like to apologize for my naive behavior. I know that my
thoughts were ignorant and selfish. I understand that it may be hard
for you to forgive me, but I ask, neh, I beg, that you find it in your
delicately woven seems to forgive me. If I could take it all back, if
I could go back in time and do it all over again I would.

Regretfully yours,
Elisha (The Glove Hater) Guido

1 comment:

Garren and Jayne said...

Girls just want to have fun has the best mistaken identity part. Where the guy is talking to the girl behind her and opps... anyway. We'll have to watch it sometime. It's a classic from the 80's. I don't know if that last sentence can legally be a sentence at all.