Saturday, March 20, 2010

On Relationships, Crackers, and Keva Juice

Lately I've had a hard time eating crackers. It's not so much a problem physically, I mean, it's really just a matter of chewing and swallowing, but rather my problem stems much deeper. The other day I had a conversation with a friend about crackers and what type of relationship we would be in if the crackers were people. Every time I eat crackers I can't help but feel bad because of the potential relationship we could be in. I feel like I'm cheating on the other crackers out there. So I'll get right to it.

Saltine Crackers:
I love saltines. They are the perfect little snacking cracker. They are wonderful really. They are simple and go well with a lot of things. I can always enjoy saltines... always. You see, here is the thing about saltine crackers. They give me my space when I need it. They understand that I shouldn't be dependent on them. They understand that it is unhealthy, physically and emotionally, to be dependent on them. It's really easy for me to have my space with saltines. They get that. I appreciate that. They are perfect in that way.

Saltine Cracker,
You are the perfect cracker on paper, but not in my heart. It's not you. It's me.

Gram Crackers:
My heart loves gram crackers. They are sweet. They are always so much fun. They are versatile. They are wonderful no matter what time of the day it is. They can be great indoors or over a campfire. My heart loves gram crackers. Here is the problem with gram crackers. They don't have my best interest in mind. They don't give me space when I need it. They let me become dependent on them. They let me enjoy their presence as much as I can and before I know it, they are gone. They are all just gone, and it's all my fault. I did this. I was so dependent to them that I literally made them disappear. They were never really a good match for me. They were never really right for me, and it makes me sad that I could never be in a stable relationship with them. I just love them too much and they just don't want to let me down. They are perfect in that way. I guess their greatest asset is their greatest flaw.

Gram Cracker,
If it's a matter of heart over head, I'd pick you. You are the love of my life, but how can I expect you to make me happy if I'm always dependent on you being around. And what happens when I eat you and you're gone forever? I can't be in a one way relationship.

And then there are

Oyster Crackers:
If I were ever to be in a relationship with oyster crackers it would absolutely just be casual. I have no feelings toward them either way. They're not great, they're not bad... they are just oyster crackers. The thing about oyster crackers is that they are just convenient. They don't really have anything going for them. All they have is that they go well with clam chowder, which is something I rarely eat. They are pretty basic. They are pretty boring. They really wouldn't even make a great friend. Whenever I am with the oyster cracker I am always thinking about how there are other fish in the sea (or crackers on the shelf). I am always thinking about another cracker that would go better with me.

Oyster Crackers,
It's really not you. It's me. Well, no, it really is you. Sorry.



So today I wanted to see where the nearest Keva Juice is. I love Keva Juice. I remember going there in high school and enjoying it so much. When I got the Keva Juice website I realized something. I've been looking in the wrong place for a relationship. Crackers were not meant to be in relationships. They were meant to be accessories to main dish (I'm mixing illustrations here.. accessories? dishes?). They aren't the big picture. They are the car, or the house or the job I work, but they aren't the husband, they aren't who I'm meant to be with. Juice... Keva Juice to be exact, is the relationship. I mean just look at the website. Keva Juice get's me.

Unfortunately, there were no Keva Juice's near me. That doesn't seem to help me out at all.

Yes! Exactly! I checked a few boxes for what I was looking for in a relationship (with a juice smoothie). I feel really lucky to have ended up with The Passion Paradise. It's funny, because I would have never expected to end up with mango passion & guava juice, pineapple sherbet, peaches and strawberries. I never knew I even liked mango and guava. I guess it's one of those things where opposites attract. I can't wait to go to El Paso and finally unite with my long lost love. Unfortunately we will both be longing to see each until late May.

Dearest Passion Paradise,
I know that long distance relationships really aren't ideal, but I promise my heart belongs to you. With you, it's all about being who you are and being independent, but at the same time being there for me... waiting for me. I appreciate that.
Until May,
Elisha.




1 comment:

Tori said...

mmm you make me want Keva Juice! Passion Paradise is my favorite!