Thursday, May 13, 2010

A Story

On our way to work, Kevin and I saw this couple. How can I put into words my thoughts? It was a mix between overjoyed and completely and utterly mystified.

They are a fun little couple. I tend to think they stole the scooter, liked the idea of a triangular flag on it and are currently on the run.

Here are some stories I have come up with to describe the situation.

1. Meet Mr. and Mrs. Fenstermacher (aka. The Widow Makers)
The Mr and Mrs met back in the day when the Mrs. was just a Ms. and was visiting Germany on a top secret mission. You see, the Mrs was in charge of seducing and poisoning the Prime Minister of Czechoslovakia. Her mission was to steal his heart, then break it.... you know, to remove the microchip that contained the plans to blow up half of the Africa in order build a massive cloche factory. Those Czechs sure do love their meat and fruit pastries. Her mission was simple, her heart was hard. The Mr. was working in a government building as a double agent... I mean an Internal Security Analyst. They happened upon each other when his mission was to kill her. He couldn't do it. Her mission wasn't to kill him, but she couldn't even if she wanted to... well she could, but that's beside the point.

Now they live in Montana and are freelance hit men. Think about it. They show up at your door and you're expecting them to ask for a cup full of sugar. Instead you get a cup full of baseball bat to your face.

2. Meet the Smiths.
The Smiths have made their living by breeding show dogs. They train the dogs day and night. Seriously, these dogs are the best out there. Not only do they eat out of golden bowls, but their dog food cost more than it cost you to be born (unless you were born in like a closet or something, then imagine you were born in a hospital where your mother was in labor for 72.4 hours.)

3. Meet the Loves
She was upper class... practically royalty. He was a lower class alley cat just trying to make his way to America. She was engaged. He didn't care. He taught her how to spit. She taught him how to love. Then their boat sank. They held hands. He died. Then she moved to America and met Mr. Love. He was no Leo, but he was alive... so that was a plus. Oh, then she threw a necklace in Flathead Lake. Nobody really got that part, but whatever.

4. Meet the Farkels
They've been together for 59 years. They started their journey as young friends exploring the greater northwest by scooter. They slept in trees and ate from wild resources. They're love has only grown stronger. The Mr. has suffered multiple toe fungi along with a severe case of body odor that could make even a septic tank smell like a field of daisies. The Mrs has upon one occasion had a real bad case of the tapeworm (aka: curious george). Don't ask me why they named it. I just tell the story.

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