Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Eye Candy

I want you to take a minute and put the following three things in order of how often you think of them:

Awesomeness, Unicorns, Fun times.

Trick question! They are all the same! If you are thinking of one, you are thinking of all three!

Fun times = Awesomeness
Unicorns = Awesomeness
which means that Unicorns must also = Fun times.

With that said, I'm sure you have an idea of what this blog is going to be about. It's actually not about anything. In fact, if you want to read something interesting, then this is what you'll need to head over to. I'm just here to give you a little bit of eye candy to make your little pupils dilate with euphoria as you behold the universe's most magical creature.

Exhibit A: The awesomeness of a unicorn dissected. Maybe a little morose, but mostly just fantastic in EVERY SINGLE WAY POSSIBLE. Oh, and also one of the truest things I know.My favorite parts of the unicorn to cook with are the front legs and the rump... because, well, you never know what you're going to end up with, but you always know it will be the best thing that ever touched your lips... unless of course you consume the midsection of the unicorn. (see the diagram for explanation.)

Exhibit B: Three things more powerful than your mother: Unicorns, Robocop and America. Get them all together and you're about to have a new world order.
Also, I am astounded by the number of results that show up when you google Robocop unicorn.

Exhibit C: This is by far the weirdest thing I have ever seen. "THE FABLED UNICORN- NOW A LETHAL, RADIOACTIVE MUTANT! Because unicorns aren't mutated enough already. Low blow... low blow.
ALSO, what's up with Patchy McFabio? And yes, I would buy this comic book for you... but not really. I would buy it for me then sell it to you for a bazillion percent profit.

Exhibit D: This unicorn doesn't need wings to fly. Also, I like cloud castles. Note to self... marry a guy who will make me a sky castle and will fly me to my fortress by Pegasus. Also, find a Pegasus that has flowing long blond woman hair like the one pictured below.

Exhibit E: This is just your basic, "I'm more majestic than you" kind of unicorn picture. Feast your eyes on him and know, he is more majestic than you... and also has more attitude.
Looking at pictures of unicorns is like letting your heart hug your eyes.

1 comment:

Brandon said...

hahaha! i laughed, hard, when i saw this. oh man. excellent!