Sunday, April 10, 2011

When You Grow Up

You know how when you're younger you always want to grow up to be something awesome? I remember when I was younger all the cool kids wanted to grow up to be big important figures like astronauts, firefighters and state senators. Not me. I wasn't that kid. Well, on the outside I was. On the outside I told everyone that I wanted to be a doctor. I wanted to help children. I wanted to make the hurting go away. That was the superficial me. That was the me that was just trying to crush my true inner selfs dreams.

On the inside I had bigger hopes. On the inside I had greater aspirations. On the inside I wanted to be something that no other child had ever dreamt of. On the inside I wanted more from my life than traveling to other worlds or ruling over generations. On the inside I wanted to be a tiger.

Yeah, you read that right. I aspired to be a tiger. A real, live, flesh eating, orange and black striped tiger.

Imagine the benefits of being such a large feline. Imagine the status, the power, the prowess. I would be so totally boss and you would be so totally not.

You know when your parents tell you that you can grow up to be whatever you want? Well, they are right... and wrong all at the same time. Yes, you can grow up to be a tiger... but no, you really can't unless you want to be a total creep.

Moral of the story, I will not be a tiger when I grow up. When I grow up I want to be something better. I want to grow up to be a tiger whisperer. I'll speak to the tigers in my sweet, soft, tiger soothing voice. I'll calm their restless souls. I'll command them with my authoritative aura. I will be the best. You will wish you had my mad skills.

So, to all you tigers out there... bring it on. I'm like one of you... but better.


Josh Bowers said...

Very Charlie-Sheen esque

Anonymous said...

Tigers carry their stripes and Lions run with prides.