Sunday, April 3, 2011

Why I Am Mad at the Girl Scouts



I was never a girl scout. I'm not sure why. Actually, that's not true. I do know why. I never wanted to be a girl scout.

However, I have always been a major supporter of their sweet little bites of heaven... until this year.

I haven't been visited by a girl scout in years. I don't know why, but for some reason they are always intentionally skipping my doorstop.
This year I took matters into my own hands. This year I drove two hours just to find some girl scouts selling cookies at a grocery store. Words could not describe my excitement. I bought four boxes. I had to stock up. I bought my favorites, Thin Mints, some Samoas and Shortbread cookies.

In my excitement I tweeted about it.
Then I found the cookies.
Then, because I am so awesome and cool, I gave 3/4 of my cookies away. Two boxes went to my brother and one box was a birthday gift for a friend. That left me with one measly little box of thin mints.

I immediately tracked down where they could be purchased in my city. You know, not the one that is over two hours away. I went to the website. It seemed like I could trust their words. After all, they are an organization founded on basic values like honor and trust.

I mean, their life skills include things like "goal setting" and "decision making." What I didn't realize was that "business ethics" wasn't a skill they were all that invested in. I figured out they would be selling cookies on a Saturday at the Safeway. Thank you cookie locator page! When I arrived there were no happy faces, no cookies... nothing! Just disrespect and false hope!

Then I went online and saw that they would again be selling cookies in that city two hours away. Road trip planned.

Today, as I look at the website, it has come to my attention that the Girl Scouts of America are out to get me. And by that I mean, "They are out to ruin my life." It appears they've cancelled their sales in Missoula.

I will not consume another girl scout cookie this year. I can tell you why too. This girl is hoarding them all for herself.

I am repulsed by her selfishness. So happy... so many cookies...

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