Sunday, May 8, 2011

Types of Anonymous Commentators

Over the last few years of my very popular blog I have received many a comments. There are funny comments, there are boring comments, there are serious comments and there are spam comments. Here's a little known fact about me: I dislike anonymous comments. Who are you? Why aren't you sharing your identity? Here are the types of people that I imagine are commenting on my blog:

Anonymous #1: The Creep:

"lol, this blog was so funny. It reminds me of that one time I was watching you walk down the street and you tripped on that rock... You looked so adorbz tho and I couldn't help but smile really big. You didn't see me tho cuz I was hiding in the bushes. Next time you should write a blog about how funny you are and make sure to include your address and your favorite song so I can sneak up to your window in an al gore mask and serenade you!"

I hope there are no creeps reading this blog because they would feel severely humiliated and embarrassed. Creeps be creeping, quit your sneaking! Don't be the creep.

Anonymous #2: The Technologically Handicap:

"Hello! I really enjoyed your journal entry! I barely managed to figure out how to comment, so don't expect me to figure out how to write my name in the box to identify myself. If you want to contact me you need to write another blog so I can comment on that one too."

Hey technologically handicap guy/girl, this blog is for you. I want you to tell me who you are even if you do end each comment with a cheesy emoticon.

<3 Elisha ;D

Anonymous #3: The Secret Admirer:

"Elisha, you are so funny and smart and wonderful! When you write it's like a window to your soul and I am so blessed to be able to see the deepest parts of your heart! One day I hope we can be together forever.... If it's Gods will... And I pray it is every night ;)"

Hey Secret Admirer, you walk a fine line. You are just one page view close to being categorized as "The Creep." Don't walk that line. Don't walk that line.

Anonymous #4: My Father:

"Witty comment. Witty comment. Witty comment."

Dad, I know you're reading this. Identify yourself or I will just assume every anonymous witty comment is yours!

Anonymous #5: The "I Mean No Harm But Just Don't Want to Tell You Who I Am" Commentator:

"Fun post. I liked it. Blah, blah, blah..."

Just tell me who you are or don't say anything at all. Also, you will NEVER win any contest I will never do on this blog.

Anonymous #6: The Hater:

"Your blog sucks and I hate everything about it. You're not funny and you shouldn't ever write anything because it's all boring and not interesting at all."

Hey, thanks for reading my blog and not being genuine enough to tell me who you are when you bash me. You are mean and you don't want anyone to know. I guess all that really matters is that you know you're mean. So there! Also, I don't get comments like this because I'm so funny. Nobody ever questions my humor.

So, comment away and tell me who you are! I want to be your friend. I want to give you a high five.


Goose Flabson said...

You're right! anonomys comments suck. Ps. I consider myself a not-so-secret admirer. ;)

Anonymous said...

Mwahahaha! you don't know who this is. but if can guess who this is...I don't know. You win. I'll give you a cupcake or something.

Anonymous said...

your kind of cuteness should be outlawed.

definitely the secret admirer/creeper.

Cupcake Carrie said...

you crack me up!!!!